5 Tips to Protect Your Mental Health During Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving can be a complicated holiday. Yes, it can bring joy, comfort food, time off work, and opportunities to reconnect. But for many Asian American children of immigrants, it also brings something else: pressure, family expectations, overstimulation, and those unspoken roles we often slip back into the moment we step inside our childhood home.
Maybe you’re the mediator.
Maybe you’re the “golden child.”
Maybe you’re the translator — emotionally, culturally, or literally.
If you’ve ever found yourself exhausted before dinner even starts, you’re not alone. This season can activate anxiety, guilt, and old wounds from intergenerational trauma. Below are five therapist-approved ways to protect your mental health during Thanksgiving so you can feel grounded, intentional, and supported.
Tip #1: Set Expectations Ahead of Time
Holiday mental health starts before the holiday begins. One of the biggest sources of Thanksgiving stress is walking into situations without clarity or boundaries.
Think about:
How long you want to stay
What conversations you’re willing to engage in
Whether you will participate in certain traditions or tasks
What you’re not available for this year
Setting expectations ahead of time reduces anxiety because it gives your brain a structure to follow. You’re not “failing” your family by protecting your limits — you’re respecting your emotional bandwidth.
Therapist reminder: Boundaries don’t have to sound harsh. They can sound like:
“I won’t be able to stay the whole day, but I’d love to be there for dinner.”
“I’m not discussing dating or marriage this year, but I’m happy to catch up on life.”
Tip #2: Have a Grounding Strategy for Hard Moments
Even with the best preparation, family dynamics can still feel overwhelming. That’s why it helps to have grounding strategies ready before you walk in the door.
Some quick nervous-system regulation tools:
Step outside for fresh air
5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise (name things you can see, hear, touch, etc.)
Deep belly breathing
Excusing yourself to the bathroom for a 2-minute reset
Repeating a calming mantra, like: “This feeling will pass.”
Grounding doesn’t mean avoiding your family. It means supporting your body so you can handle emotionally charged moments without shutting down or spiraling.
Tip #3: Limit Over-Commitment
Asian American millennials often grow up equating worth with performance: cooking, cleaning, running errands, “being good,” or saying yes to everything because it feels impossible to say “no.”
But over-commitment is a fast path to burnout.
If you’re already juggling work deadlines, relationship stress, and daily anxiety, the emotional labor of Thanksgiving can tip you over the edge.
People-pleasing won’t make the problem go away.
Saying no to an extra task, ride, or obligation doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re protecting your mental health so you can actually enjoy the parts of the holiday that matter to you.
Tip #4: Prepare for Emotional Triggers (They’re Normal)
Family has a way of activating old patterns within minutes; especially when you’re around older generations or navigating cultural expectations.
You might notice:
Pressure to perform as the “good daughter” or “dependable son”
Comments about your appearance, career, or relationship status
Feeling like the “teenage version” of yourself again
Being expected to conform to traditions or roles
Guilt for not meeting unspoken expectations
This is not a sign that you’re “regressing.”
It’s a sign your nervous system remembers old dynamics.
Preparing ahead helps you stay grounded. Consider:
Planning neutral conversation topics
Creating physical or emotional distance if needed (a quick walk, sitting next to a safer relative)
Having an exit plan if things become overstimulating
Giving yourself permission not to explain or justify your choices
You’re allowed to protect your peace; even around family.
Tip #5: Prioritize Rest Before and After the Holiday
Your body and mind need time to regulate, or go back to normal routines. Thanksgiving may be one day, but the stress can last for weeks if you don’t build in recovery time. Without recovery time after Thanksgiving, you will be burned out by Christmas!
Protect your holiday mental health by:
Keeping your schedule light the week of Thanksgiving
Setting aside downtime after family events
Avoiding back-to-back obligations
Letting yourself decompress with quiet time, journaling, or gentle movement
Rest allows you to return to work, your routine, and your life without feeling emotionally drained or resentful.
You Don’t Have to Navigate Thanksgiving Stress Alone
If this season tends to activate your anxiety, guilt, or family wounds, therapy can offer support, grounding, and a plan that actually works for your unique family dynamics.
If you’d like help coping with family during the holidays, navigating cultural expectations, or processing intergenerational trauma, I invite you to schedule a consultation with our team of AAPI Therapists in Irvine, CA. Together, we can create strategies to help you feel calmer, more empowered, and more in control this holiday season.
Book a consultation before the holidays to care for yourself well before you care for everyone else.